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Turning points

I got an update from NIH today about that TIL trial I’m in.

I'm out.

They didn't find anything they could work with, and nothing they could artificially modify to work with either. The trial is over for me. It also shuts the doors to any kind of vaccine trial or anything new they are rolling out as well ... since finding reactivity was the starting block for all of that. 

I’ve been scared and hesitant for weeks to reach out to them to ask them how things are going. No news is good news right? Not really. It’s just potentially bad news left unsaid. “Be careful what you ask for” and all of that. Then finally yesterday - after finding out my tumor markers are rising again - in a huff of determination and steely, yet fleeting, resolve - I emailed my trial doctor and my trial nurse. I emailed the doctor for a status update and I emailed the nurse for a list of new trials that I might be a candidate for, in anticipation of a potentially bad result ... which ... ended up happening.

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