UNFINISHED POST: December 21, 2011 - Almost Christmas
(this post has been sitting in my drafts since December. It's now May. I figured I'd post it anyway.)
OK OK ... it's been a while hasn't it? Looking back, I had 84 posts in 2010. This year, 13. I guess you could say I have less to vent, worry, stress -- obsess about. I do have more to be "blessed" about though, so those deserve equal play on this blog, I think.
Picking up where I left off, I had a follow up appointment on 9/15/11 with my Onc. Oddly enough, the results I should have blogged about - but I didn't. Real life got in the way of cancer life for once. A few days after my appointment I got a call from my Onc - which hasn't happened after any of my other follow ups yet - so this was interesting. She said, "You're not a smoker are you?" ... I said no. She asked if I had taken it up in the last month or anything and I said no. She said there is a tumor marker that she watches - where if the levels continue to rise, it could be an indication of early re-occurrence. Great, I say to myself. "What's this marker?" I quizzed her ... and she told me, as well as mentioned I could Google it -- she knows me. I'm going to research everything so she might as well as fork over the info.
It's called "CEA" or "Carcinoembryonic antigen" and if the levels swing up, it could be a bad thing. My "normal" level was 4.4. It went up to 4.6. I go back again after 3 months to re-test and see if it's still going up. That appointment is next week, 12/29.
Other odd thing - this level is not only associated with tumors, but also associated with the lady parts. Considering I only have 1 area of lady parts in tact, she wasn't talking about my chest. Any irregular menstrual cycle can throw this level off as well. And yes, it was irregular prior to the appointment. I had a 4 week interval, a 2 week interval and then a 4 week interval. That was enough - she said - to make the tumor marker level increase, so she wasn't worried.
But after that last 4 week interval - I went 8 weeks before my next cycle decided to visit me. And yes, I initially thought maybe I was pregnant. Nope. Just screwy on the inside. And yes, when the pregnancy tests kept coming back negative, I went off the deep end with the anxiety. The fun filled exclamations went like this:
My ovaries are fried! I just know it!
I'm broken forever.
What if there's something really wrong with me?
What if I'm kicking over to menopause? Things haven't been regular since chemo. That's been almost a year. Can I really go into menopause now?
How much damage did I do? My doc said I'd be ok ...
And I'm sure there's a bunch I'm missing. But Mike dealt with them all in stride. He even suggested maybe we start trying for kids after my December follow up appointment, instead of waiting until April 2012, if I was that worried. Tempting ....... but I said no ... let's wait until April. I was just barely a year outside of chemo. I needed (wanted) to give my body a chance to heal itself - as much time as I could give it anyway.
Things are still off. My skin is telling me so. At least it's telling me my hormones are off. I'm breaking out when I'm not on my cycle, and when I am on my cycle, I'm breaking out even more. Bottom line - I'm breaking out all the time. I feel 13 again. I went through Accutane about 4 years ago - skin was lovely after that. I was also on the pill, so that helped regulate my hormones, I think, and keep things in check. Anyhow - looking back at my posts from January this year - I was having skin issues. So it looks like it's been consistent. I considered doing another round of Accutane but the need to have it clear your system before you get pregnant - that would be a while. And then all the pregnancy hormone fluctuations ... I'm sure my skin would just flip out again after pregnancy was all over - so I figure I'll just have to deal with it for now. It sucks.
Other things that have been happening since my last post - We held our first, and very successful, VIPink Fundraiser for Bright Pink on October 13th! We sold over 100 tickets and the raffle was a big hit! Here are a pic from the event. This is Mary, my Bright Pink Partner in Crime. All of the event pics are here on our FB page: www.facebook.com/brightpinkdenver
OK OK ... it's been a while hasn't it? Looking back, I had 84 posts in 2010. This year, 13. I guess you could say I have less to vent, worry, stress -- obsess about. I do have more to be "blessed" about though, so those deserve equal play on this blog, I think.
Picking up where I left off, I had a follow up appointment on 9/15/11 with my Onc. Oddly enough, the results I should have blogged about - but I didn't. Real life got in the way of cancer life for once. A few days after my appointment I got a call from my Onc - which hasn't happened after any of my other follow ups yet - so this was interesting. She said, "You're not a smoker are you?" ... I said no. She asked if I had taken it up in the last month or anything and I said no. She said there is a tumor marker that she watches - where if the levels continue to rise, it could be an indication of early re-occurrence. Great, I say to myself. "What's this marker?" I quizzed her ... and she told me, as well as mentioned I could Google it -- she knows me. I'm going to research everything so she might as well as fork over the info.
It's called "CEA" or "Carcinoembryonic antigen" and if the levels swing up, it could be a bad thing. My "normal" level was 4.4. It went up to 4.6. I go back again after 3 months to re-test and see if it's still going up. That appointment is next week, 12/29.
Other odd thing - this level is not only associated with tumors, but also associated with the lady parts. Considering I only have 1 area of lady parts in tact, she wasn't talking about my chest. Any irregular menstrual cycle can throw this level off as well. And yes, it was irregular prior to the appointment. I had a 4 week interval, a 2 week interval and then a 4 week interval. That was enough - she said - to make the tumor marker level increase, so she wasn't worried.
But after that last 4 week interval - I went 8 weeks before my next cycle decided to visit me. And yes, I initially thought maybe I was pregnant. Nope. Just screwy on the inside. And yes, when the pregnancy tests kept coming back negative, I went off the deep end with the anxiety. The fun filled exclamations went like this:
My ovaries are fried! I just know it!
I'm broken forever.
What if there's something really wrong with me?
What if I'm kicking over to menopause? Things haven't been regular since chemo. That's been almost a year. Can I really go into menopause now?
How much damage did I do? My doc said I'd be ok ...
And I'm sure there's a bunch I'm missing. But Mike dealt with them all in stride. He even suggested maybe we start trying for kids after my December follow up appointment, instead of waiting until April 2012, if I was that worried. Tempting ....... but I said no ... let's wait until April. I was just barely a year outside of chemo. I needed (wanted) to give my body a chance to heal itself - as much time as I could give it anyway.
Things are still off. My skin is telling me so. At least it's telling me my hormones are off. I'm breaking out when I'm not on my cycle, and when I am on my cycle, I'm breaking out even more. Bottom line - I'm breaking out all the time. I feel 13 again. I went through Accutane about 4 years ago - skin was lovely after that. I was also on the pill, so that helped regulate my hormones, I think, and keep things in check. Anyhow - looking back at my posts from January this year - I was having skin issues. So it looks like it's been consistent. I considered doing another round of Accutane but the need to have it clear your system before you get pregnant - that would be a while. And then all the pregnancy hormone fluctuations ... I'm sure my skin would just flip out again after pregnancy was all over - so I figure I'll just have to deal with it for now. It sucks.
Other things that have been happening since my last post - We held our first, and very successful, VIPink Fundraiser for Bright Pink on October 13th! We sold over 100 tickets and the raffle was a big hit! Here are a pic from the event. This is Mary, my Bright Pink Partner in Crime. All of the event pics are here on our FB page: www.facebook.com/brightpinkdenver
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