Day 102 - Everything Hurts ...

Everything hurts ... and nothing tastes good. Water tastes like metal and Gatorade tastes like the ocean. Coffee ... oh my beloved coffee ... tastes bitter and I've not had any for the major part of the extended weekend because of it. Food seems bland and flavors just aren't registering ... but everything smells so strong. It's a strange disconnect between my nose and my mouth. The scent of my own conditioner is even getting on my nerves ... pomegranate.

Any woman who has ever endured the signs of your impending monthly gift will understand when I say - this feels like PMS on steroids. For starters - I'm breaking out ... like a teenager -- my T-Zone, my jawline, my chest and my shoulders. My Onc said this was a potential side effect. Add to it the deep muscle aches ... nothing is comfortable. I can't sit or sleep comfortably. It feels like my spine was used for the first time in years and the resulting muscle tears are deeper than possible. My whole back just aches. I tried Advil yesterday and it didn't work. I'm trying Aleeve today and so far it doesn't seem like that's going to work. Icy Hot worked for a little while yesterday ... as well as cleared my sinuses ... but it was temporary. Sitting in the hot shower felt good, but I don't think my computer would work too well in there ... and eventually the hot water would betray me and run out. And finally the cramping - it feels like my actual stomach and intestines are cramping ... like they want to fall out.

So - essentially my whole torso is affected, front and back. But, the bright side is - today doesn't feel as bad as yesterday - and yesterday felt worse than Sunday. So ... I'm (cautiously) optimistic I'm on the up swing of the first 5 days. I've checked my temperature a couple times throughout the weekend and it was normal every time. My appetite is good, all things considered - and some things taste better today than they did over the weekend.

It's really hard to be optimistic and up beat when you feel like this - but I cling to the fact there has to be a positive ripple effect to all of this. There just has to be. Why else would it happen if not to positively impact something or someone down the road?


  1. Hang in there, Melissa! I'm thinking of you, as are so many people out there! You'll enjoy your coffee again soon!

  2. Thinking of you, too, and praying that the side effects will dissipate soon. My friends who have had chemo suggest using paper plates and plastic dinner ware to avoid the "metallic taste." Don't know from experience it works, but might be worth a try. And just think of the dishes you will not have to wash. :) Stay strong - one down, three to go! Your NM "sister"


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